If I were that Canadian, I probably wouldn't lie either.
If you need to lie on that form, maybe you should not try to enter the US. I never tried, but I'd be curious to know what happens if you say yes on any of these questions. Are you still allowed into the US? Which questions are ok to answer with yes?
I lie to my government all the time.
How about "No sir, never."
Border guards aren't stupid. They know when you're being evasive, and they'll ask followup questions.
Anyone who claims to have never committed a crime is almost certain to be either lying or wrong.