Comment by allovera | Hacker News Reader

Comment by allovera | Hacker News Reader

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I find the opposite - I'm deeply ashamed about growing up in poverty and rarely admit it. When it comes up, I find it creates distance between myself and my co workers. They get uncomfortable and I always feel like they think I am judging them somehow.

I don't seem poor anymore: thousands of dollars on dental care, I dress OK, I have a fairly polished accent now. I don't talk to most of my family. My old friends live several thousand miles away and their world of drug abuse, poverty, and dysfunction is now one I only experience via the occasionally post I read on my Facebook feed.

The PTSD remains -- the anxiety attacks in the middle of the night when I think I hear yelling, the flinching and heart palpitations when a co-worker sneaks up on me as a joke. I feel ashamed to mention this as well, because PTSD seems to have become a fashionable affliction to claim to have, like Celiac disease. I look for all intents and purposes like a normal 20something white girl. The few times I mentioned PTSD I actually saw someone eye roll. They don't know about flashbacks to homeless shelters, finding people OD'd in bathrooms, being attacked for just existing.

I think the social circles I now move in have made all of this unmentionable. I am glad the author of this piece is at least bringing it up and talking about it. The isolation I feel among co workers and friends now is often very intense.

I'm with you in a lot of this. I grew up poor and all I've known is poverty. I clinch my pennies but I'm generous when I'm able. But I do have a very real awareness of my impending doom, be it a financial mishap or whatever.

If it wasn't for 'Obama Care' I wouldn't be on Strattera for my ADD. Nor would've I been suggested this [1] for my anxiety, by my doctor. It's helped me significantly, a DIY assistance for coping with anxiety.

I have a mild form PTSD. When you said 'flashbacks...middle of the night screaming'. It triggered an affirmation that I do have PTSD. I've been struggling with this idea for quiet some time but...it's mild and not constant. I know you're not a doctor nor do I want to get into all the details but growing up in an abusive/malnorished home, it's very real. Heck, I became homeless as an adult too.

Finally, I want to gently suggest you look into getting help. Meaning, a shrink. Either doing talk therapy or consider medications, if they are truly needed. Keep in mind, it's not a black/white science. You'll need to experiment with your treatment to find what suits you best. I went on 4 different ADD meds before Strattera was a solid fit. Adderall helped but...the side effects were bad. Also, soonish, I've be working with someone to help aid my psychological restoration. ADD, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and assertiveness will be my topics that I'd like to tackle because even though I'm doing decent now, I do need a helping mind to help me navigate through these issues/challenges in my life.

[1] - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/160623918X/ref=oh_aui_sear...

As a I mentioned above, please consider therapy. It's not perfect, but you deserve to find some happiness. There may be some groups where you can find people with similar backgrounds, such as drug-survivors (al-anon etc).

Also, time may heal. I'm old enough that my unhappy adolescence now feels like a dream, even though there are some lasting effects.

Do you have a psychologist? Maybe you could spend some of those six figures to clear the air with someone about all of this instead of telling people they are making asses out of themselves.

I understand you're quite pressured socially to 'fit in' with all the other people that make the same money you do... In fact social pressures to look as if you are well off is a big issue in our time.

What I find interesting is that your upbringing is really that unmentionable. In my opinion, your experiences give you a drive few could ever hone. Your rags to riches story may indeed garner you more true friends than you know. Sharing your personal story is inspiring to many and can help others deal with their own problems.

Don't be ashamed of where you come from. Be proud that you have risen above. You should see yourself as an example that it CAN be done, and that despite all of your hardships, here you are, working for one of the big guys, able to share your experiences for others to learn.

Best of luck to you in the future.

There is nothing to be ashamed of something you had no say in. People judge all the time on anything and everything. You should stop caring about being judged and always try to do the right thing. You should be proud of how you did yourself despite loss of opportunities.

I came from a poorer background too. To this day I find it hard for me to connect with people. I get the anxiety too, and have been spared the severe ptsd. I don't have any sage words of advice or opinions, just wanted you to know you're not alone.

You should be proud.

There are a lot of people who fight hard battles and don't win in the end.

It says something good about you that you overcame a bad initial hand, as well as a blindside tackle late in your college career.

Also, it may be the case that others in your social circle had similar experiences, but like you, they don't feel comfortable mentioning it.

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