I'm not defending Tesla here, I just want to draw an analogy. You can't go a store, buy a DVD for $15 and then charge tickets to project to an audience. You need a different, more expensive license for that. The same applies to music and software, even if it is embedded firmware in a car.
Maybe this model is actually bad because it circumvents the first sale doctrine, and we need to make this kind of restriction one illegal (haha, in my dreams).
Further, such a doctrine would allow you to buy the Tesla and remove the software they didn't want to license to you.
So no, that isn't how it is - that's how they want you to think it works so you don't even bother trying.
Go ask a lawyer for a clear-cut answer on anything.
Of course this is easy to fix, but it would still result in either forbidding commercial use (without license) or metered supercharging.