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If you want an alternative that will never disrespect privacy, you will need to make it distributed. This is because the only way to control your data is to lock it up on your machine, or encrypt it.

I wonder if there are standards (protocols) related to distributed "social network".

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http://www.foaf-project.org/ is one of the main standards. http://code.google.com/p/xoperator/ is a bit weird, but I think has some of the right ideas of the distributed SN.

Yeah, it what properties/features such a protocol would require. Distributed is the only way to go, where YOU host your data, or at least get to choose a third-party hoster a la e-mail.

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