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Comment by niels_olson | Hacker News Reader

Personal opinion based on anecdotal evidence: population mobility has increased career opportunity at the expense of the opportunities afforded to young families through staying close to home. From newborn to age N, local gandparents can be a godsend. In any family's case, which grandparents are nearby may be crucial, but if you came from a nuturing home, moving to a different timezone has definitely negative, high stress consequences in the young home.

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Population mobility has decreased over the past decades, the median american lives 18 miles from their mother, and only 20% of Americans live more than a couple hours away from their parents. (NYT Upshot 12/23/15).

Perhaps the fact that 64% of the women were dealing with unemployment suggests a different stressor.

>Perhaps the fact that 64% of the women were dealing with unemployment suggests a different stressor.

It would be interesting to know the breakdown of voluntary vs. unvoluntary unemployment for the "self-harm" group, and the control group.

It would also be interesting to know if "voluntary unemployment" was due to a family-toxic work-life balance from employers (ie, not choosing to work because working would mean 100% childcare time which may not be offset by the e.g. minimum wage income).

If you are voluntarily out of work, you are not unemployed. The definition includes only those who are seeking employment.

Mobility (proportion of people who move in a year) has decreased 1-2% every decade for the last 60 years.

http://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/newsroom/releases/2...

That doesn't mean that they aren't just moving from apartment to apartment, staying 800 miles from Mom the whole time.

I can't find the numbers right now, but I believe the number of Americans living close to home is decreasing.

Neither my wife's parents nor mine are involved in our lives, and I can say it makes a huge difference - our friends whose parents are involved with the grandchildren have it much easier. Being an island is very, very difficult.

The "Monkey Love Experiments" show that social contact (and love) is more important to monkeys than food. We're not so different. Having your parents help out with the kids is amazing.

Humans were never designed to live in isolation. That is why solitary confinement is a punishment. Being removed from family, lacking access to basic psychological needs (belongingness and love) causes depression and sometimes suicide.

A healthy family unit can provide for our needs of connection, esteem and security.

http://pages.uoregon.edu/adoption/studies/HarlowMLE.htm

Alternate hypothesis: population mobility is caused by fewer career opportunities overall and clustering of what opportunities exist in urban areas. Move or starve.

That really doesn't contradict what the person you're replying to said. Your comment manages to be both jerky and irrelevant. It ignores the principle dilemma, which is that taking care of children is easier with a broad family support network, and if you don't happen to have one of those near where your job is located it is harder to take care of children.

I wasn't trying to contradict the OP on the bulk of their post, which is clearly spot on. You were saying something about being jerky and irrelevant?

Parent didn't try to contradict the grant parent, nor they tried to address their "principle dilemma" (sic).

They merely provided an alternate hypothesis on the root cause of population mobility: not an overall increase of career opportunities attracting people away from their hometown, but a scarcity of career opportunities, where mostly jobs clustered in larger cities remain.

Maybe refrain calling other comments "jerky and irrelevant" when you've missed their point, and don't even understand their aim?

As a recent new father having my mother and father in law has been extremely helpful. For my wife and I we made a decision to move from NYC to live in the same city as them to start our family and that decision has made our lives much easier.

I have the same experience. We decided to move closer to my wife's parents house (20 mins drive) and it has been really helpful with kids. When we feel burned out (which does happen often with both of us working), my wife picks up the phone and asks her(her mom works fulltime as well but has fridays off). Even a few hours on a weekend really helps to just be alone without kids.

Moving to within a twenty minute walk of both sets of grandparents is probably the best decision my wife and I have ever made. We spent the first year of having a child several hours away and it was super tough, and pretty isolating. The last couple of years have been so much easier thanks to grandparents meaning we're able to get out for the occasional meal, or drop our son round for a few hours when there are things we need to get done.

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