> I feel like I need a PhD for steam controller configuration.

If you think that's bad, try using their map editor[0].

[0]https://developer.valvesoftware.com/wiki/Valve_Hammer_Editor

There's a 99% chance that someone has done the hard work for you and made your perfect configuration. Try the top community configs. They are usually the best. I've never had to tinker much with my SC because people before me already have.