Obviously one could have thought of this before marrying and putting kids in school in the town with one tech firm - but that doesn't make it any less a reality for a lot of people.
Saying "kids we have to move because dads colleagues refuse to do proper peer reviews" just doesn't taste right :)
this was going to be my response, but then you said it yourself :)
The more intelligent and self-responsible act (which is hard, i know) would be to move to a better place before making extremely serious life choices such as marrying and having kids. same goes for partner finding - don't marry a crazy partner and then say 'I married a crazy partner and now we have 2 mutual children. i cannot leave, i am stuck with this crazy person who is also the parent of my children.'
and i know it is hard to find a non-'crazy' employer and a non-'crazy' partner- but this should be your goal and target, shouldn't it ?
also, you get better as time goes by, even if you don't want to (as long as you are a bit intelligent) - bad companies/life partners will present themselves as red-flags on an interview/date . and it is your responsibility to detect those red flags .
(edit: refactor the last paragraph)
aspect b) is that company environments change, and the fun startup can become a terrible enterprise in a decade.
I wouldn't advise against working in tech in small towns because of the risk of getting stuck in the only gig in town. I would however advise that it be factored into that career decision. One might need to fight to improve company culture, whereas in Silicon Valley one would instead take a job across the street. I'd also recommend keeping an active contact network and online profile so you can get remote work should it be necessary.