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Comment by ianamartin | Hacker News Reader

Oh tone it down a little bit. I'm an upper middle class white male. I'm pretty fucking privileged. I was trying to get laid. And I was being stupid. I own my mistakes here, okay?

It's okay to laugh about it in retrospect.

No one got raped. And I learned a lesson. Sort of. I kind of want to hang out with her again. That kind of crazy is a little hot.

I mean, sometimes you just need to put your dick in crazy. Even when you know it's bad idea.

(I'm trolling you, by the way. I can't not troll you. You're like my boss who hates it when I shoot him in the crotch with a nerf gun in client meetings. I just have to do it. 38-year-old me will never stop acting like a 12-year-old. But trolling is nicer than downvoting.)

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Man I dunno call me crazy but I don't care what your demographic privilege is: getting roofied in a strange part of NYC sounds pretty terrifying and not like a "laugh it off" moment. It's great that you survived with just a few stitches and ruined clothes, but that could have ended far worse, no?

Given that there was no consequences for this woman's actions, what are the chances she did or will do this again to another person?

Man, i dunno call me crazy but policing other people's emotional responses to events seems insane.

maybe you should take a look at this [1]

/petpeeve

[1]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laughter#Causes

Dude gets roofied, hit in the face, and walks around bloodied in a city and it's not okay to say "That's fucked up"?

If common sense triggered my pet peeves that much I'd have to stay out of internet comments.

It was fucked up, and there's nothing wrong with saying that.

I don't know, as a pretty recent transplant from Texas to NYC, I find a lot of things to be fucked up here. I have a choice about how to respond. I can get very deeply upset by how messed up everything is, or I can accept responsibility for my choices, realize when I've made a bad one, and find some humor in the situation while I make a mental note to not do that again.

Sounds like a healthy outlook to have on life. As someone else mentioned, you're a great writer and compelled my response. My initial response was more "holy shit that person needs to be locked away" than "you need to be offended by that".

Did you ever file a police report or anything? Sure, it could be your fault for getting yourself in that situation, but this person sounds violent/dangerous.

thats fucked up isnt what you said, you specifically said the story was not something to laugh about.

you are policing what people are allowed to laugh at, no one claimed it wasnt fucked up, but that doesnt mean they cant laugh, laughter is one of many ways to cope with trauma.

you are either being intellectually dishonest by trying to reframe my argument incorrectly, or you didnt understand it in the first place

Sorry, I don't agree that calling attention to something that seems to be obvious and common sense can or should be characterized as "policing people's emotions".

I'd say it's a tad intellectually dishonest to frame my argument that way in the first place.

right and talking down to the person who experienced it and telling them they shouldnt laugh about it is..... common sense?

I did neither of those things.

I wasn't saying you shouldn't laugh about it, and I'm not attempting to downplay your agency. You obviously know how to handle yourself. If you find other people laughing about this experience nice, good on ya!

But outside of that context, given the drug part, it does seem that this "crazy" woman's actions were likely on the same moral level as armed robbery or attempted rape, so all else being equal, I would prefer that someone called out any external brushing-aside of that aspect. Being white and privileged does not a legal victim make ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So I'm still confused - was it the lack of blood that made you feel drugged? Or did you actually drink something?

Glad you're ok. What a strange occurrence.

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