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Ghostery counted 95 libraries -- without blocking, it literally cripples my MBPr on load.

> cripples my MBPr on load

AMD E-350 laptop from 2011 loads fine. Something is terribly wrong with your computer or your config.

Thinkpad X200/4Gb/Chromium 57/OpenBSD: takes around 20 seconds to load (not very good adsl) then scrolls fine and smooth. No add-ins.