I've been through something like this – up until I've hit ~25 years. I was fairly "disorganized". Issues w/ all forms of "authorities", trouble w/ my personal finances, not taking care of my mental (taking rest and time off) and physical (sleep, nutrition, exercise) health, never sucking it up striving towards overcoming adversities (however minor they might be). Most of all, starting many things, but never finishing anyth, which really invoked constant background anxiety.

Chaos and disorder.

Not sure what happened exactly, but there was one point where I couldn't anymore.

Looking back, I think what really was a breakthrough for me was journaling. First thing in the morning and right after opening my eyes, in free form w/o correcting my self. Just letting it out.

With time your thought becomes more precise and there comes clarity. I've started picking patterns in my way of thinking, my habits and behaviors – pretty much in all aspects of my life. I've started tracking other aspects of my life, which led to other insights and finding in a very quantified way what works and does not works for me.

Still, you're here on HN. I'm pretty sure that despite everything you go through now, there is something internally which does keeps you on the right track in the grand scheme of the things. There is exploration and exploitation. The time will show.

I would also highly recommend you checking Dr. Jordan Peterson's lectures "Maps of Meaning" on YouTube and his "Self Authoring" program.