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Comment by i336_ | Hacker News Reader

Some people are born communicators and find interaction with others completely intuitive.

Others are born with a brain more ready to understand math, or writing screenplays, or software engineering, or business management - and bumble their way through communication, getting a lot wrong, not knowing where the lines are between their successes and failures, and generally having a miserable time.

Books like these define specific scopes to focus on as worth investing time and energy in, with the promise that understanding in these areas will definitely bring reward, as unintuitive as this may seem [to these people].

I wouldn't mind similar ones that explain learning how to learn, on a related note.

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You imply that emotional intelligence and reasoning ability are a tradeoff. They aren't.

Even if they are orthogonal, they are less likely to occur in the same person than either apart.

Woops, that was unintentional.

Although... now I think about it... when I'm anxious (I have reasonably mild but fairly broadly scoped anxiety), I can become more emotional/instinctive/reactive to things, and my ability to reason can be greatly impacted as well.

So I do think there is some indirect correlation, in practice.

Emotional intelligence does not imply that you are driven by emotions. It imply that you understand them, which makes it easier to control how you react.

Someone who is emotional is not displaying emotional intelligence at that moment.

I definitely agree with you there.

Often when I feel certain ways, I don't have reference points to mentally articulate how I'm feeling - if I even have the ability to consciously distinguish the feeling and highlight it. That shuts down a lot of internal dialog and analysis before it has the chance to take place.

When I'm anxious, my thinking is clouded across the board, which makes this weakness all the more apparent.

I wonder if there are any books out there that specifically help to instil an understanding of the nuances in emotional processing.

> learning how to learn

Look at the writings of Dr. Barbara Oakley or at https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn.

Thanks so much, this is now on my todo list :)

I found someone uploaded all of the videos to YouTube!

Unfortunately I don't have the disk space to download them at this exact moment (been saving for several months for a couple new disks, not quite there yet) so I've base64-encoded the following YouTube playlist URL to heighten the chances the videos stay up til I can grab them (both to archive them and also because I download videos to watch them - old computer).

data:text/plain;base64,aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vcGxheWxpc3Q/bGlzdD1QTFcxcDdMZkhNTW5ERVQxcjh2Ymo4a1FENHNndXM1dnFZCg==

I also found https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCojOYrwehhFpaJfYG3DziHA/vid..., which has some related videos (that I think were placed on YouTube explicitly).

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