That's kinda the problem. As a species, our entire communications spectrum can't be forced into either bucket. It has to exist in both.
The kind of things I wouldn't tolerate at all around my family I'm fine tolerating around my friends. And the kind of things I wouldn't tolerate from a friend I'm fine tolerating as part of the public discourse. In fact, the last thing we want to do is use either minority or majority power to silence what folks consider "intolerable" speech. That way lies dragons.
It's a difficult if not impossible spot for social networks to be in.