>Society bundled behaviour and innate characteristics into a single thing.
It seems like that's what you're doing here:
>...you don't have any choice about being gay, or about having gay relationships.
Being gay does not mean you have to have gay relationships. Having gay relationships is a choice.
The original quote was "being gay is illegal in many places". By saying "being gay is illegal" it seems to imply a behavior though. Being a murderer, or being a pilot, or being a carnivore...
But, you're right. We can all agree that it's totally legal to be a murderer or thief as long as you don't behave that way.
You must know this doesn't make any sense. Murderer and thief are words that describe people who actually murder or steal, not people who just have a desire to murder or steal. Gay describes who you are attracted to.