A lot of the psychologizing and self-diagnosis in this post could be cut out if the author realized he was simply being verbally abused by an asshole. Which he was. No need for the "red" and "green" stuff. "Why" rarely matters, and even less often is something you can do anything about, while choosing your response is. Sometimes that response should be "you're a fuckin' asshole, Chad," which doesn't rely on knowing why they're being an asshole. Do I have to feel that I grasp the "Warrior" mentality in order to tell someone they're being rude?
There's a lot of metaphor and cruft in this story as it trundles on, and oftentimes naming things is used to not deal with them. Is anybody disrupting copy-editing as a service for bloggers?