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Comment by avenoir | Hacker News Reader

This is basically me in a couple of decades. 8 months ago I moved out to Denver and made an uncomfortable realization - I haven't made friends since high school and I have no idea how to make friends. I tried Meetup and other random social gatherings without making any meaningful connections and then I just quit making any effort. I've since slipped into not caring and getting comfortable being alone most of the time here. The only social interaction I have is when I visit office once a few months (I work remote) or go back to my hometown. I used to hate it, now I enjoy it but it makes me wonder what will come of it when I'm much older. In the back of my mind I'm thinking I should quit my remote job (which I love) and find something local or move back. Thank God for the great outdoors and coffee shops in the meantime lol

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May I offer a suggestion? Try enrolling in a martial arts course.

You can surely find something that fits your own preferences in terms of "intensity" and it might get you in touch with people.

I totally agree with this. I enrolled in martial arts one year after moving to a new city, and they've become a great circle of friends. The camaraderie you build with martial arts folks is a special one.

Similarly, a sports team or another group engaged in relatively challenging physical activities (such as hiking and backpacking, especially in CO this would be a lot of fun).

I actually have a buddy who's into Tai Chi and also recommended this to me as a way to meet new people when i first came out here. This completely escaped me since. Thanks for the suggestion!

Hey, put an email to contact you with in your bio page. I'd have emailed you to hang, but there is nothing to contact you by.

Hey, Thanks for the offer! I just updated my bio with email.

I've been feeling the same way since moving to Portland... been here a year and my closest friends here are still the 2 guys that I went to college with who happen to be local.

I've also been thinking of taking a martial arts courses, but am also looking at local community groups like Neighborhood Emergency Teams for emergency management.

I moved to Portland a few years ago as well and also don't know too many people here. Let's hang out! My profile should be showing my email.

I do work in a team but don't like to mix work and real friends. I am thinking about working at a coffee place or bar just for fun and social interaction. The money is ridiculous still I think I would enjoy it a lot more. Anyone doing something similar?

Would your job consider paying for a coworking space? I found it helpful for meeting new people in a new town while working remotely.

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