Looking at you, Facebook, with your "Somebody you don't actually care about posted for the first time in a while."
Any app I feel is a source of anxiety I can either cripple notifications and permissions from, or uninstall.
(If you post and comment regularly, you may prefer the app. I mostly use the site for casual browsing, and checking the address of events I'm on my way to.)
I've left that one's notification access open because at least for now it only uses them for someone sending me a message. Fingers cross they don't move the "SOMEBODY JUST WENT LIVE WITH VIDEO!!!!" over to that.
You're not alone.
Basically what will notify me is direct messages from Slack and text messages. That's about it. It's fantastic. I have no idea why people put up with getting poked so goddamn often.