For better or worse, society respects a well dressed person with manners more than they do a spittle-flecked zealot. I suspect more people have been turned away from desktop Linux precisely because of this.

It has been very, very socially helpful to learn to not say should and to substitute could. Relatedly, I also try to say I can relate, and not to say I understand. Just a couple of small things completely change how people respond to me.

You could try it in your everyday speech and see if you notice a difference?