> should not be acceptable to society
So .. what level of violence against transgender people does this justify? Or is the hope that they can be bullied into suicide so you can pretend it's their fault?
So .. what level of violence against transgender people does this justify? Or is the hope that they can be bullied into suicide so you can pretend it's their fault?
They too are victims of stereotype. They chose (perhaps felt forced to chose) to change their body to fit the stereotype. But the problem with being unable to discuss this is that people who are beginning to question their cis identity may not see the other option: being yourself in your own body, and not conforming to what society thinks a man or a woman is.
Now, there are certainly people who are not transgender in that specific way, but want to express aspects of the stereotypical “other” gender or both genders. That’s a different thing, and they have a right to that too, but it’s very wrong, and misleading, to put all these people into a single bucket.
Of course, it should be unsurprising that people who are “physically transgender”, besides feeling there is a physical problem, might want to express themselves differently too. The fact that these two characteristics are often correlated may be what is steering you wrong.
This is kind of presuming the conclusion, and ignoring the stated experiences of the people being discussed. The concept of gender identity (whether or not it does a good job of it) is explicitly intended to highlight that the causation isn't "I fit this stereotype, therefore I am this", but just "I feel I am this", with the implication that it may (or may not) be reaffirming to fit in socially with other people who are that way. Many don't identify with the stereotypes. Sure, some cling to stereotypes - maybe because they previously felt constrained from expressing themselves, or just as a practical measure against getting misidentified - but that doesn't imply that that's the cause or the goal. If you don't believe the claim that it isn't the cause, that's fair, but then it's just a person's beliefs against anothers' self-assessment.
The term "transitioning" is also used in a general sense, including "being yourself", as opposed to necessarily taking hormones. Taking hormones, changing paperwork, doctor appointments, losing fertility, etc., is kind of a long, drawn out, stressful ordeal that inherently starts with "being yourself in your own body" until changes kick in; it's pretty unlikely that someone transitioning hasn't considered just not doing the hard part, especially since it's so slow that there's ample time to turn back.
I'd wager most trans people are as opposed to gender essentialism and gender stereotypes as other feminists are. Nothing about accepting that they might actually just not be comfortable in their bodies, or at least just letting them be, implies philosophically accepting gender essentialism. Moreover, making the world more accpeting of people just being themselves is pretty closely aligned with just letting trans people be - if they actually don't need to transition, they'd be less likely to in a world where those who don't fit stereotypes, like trans people, are more accepted. And it's not a verboten topic - the Reddit trans communities have these discussions pretty often, when the questions are asked genuinely. It's just that, as with other minority-focused topics, it's often brought up with the clear intention of harassment rather than having an actual discussion, so there's a low tolerance for things that signal disingenuousness.
>They too are victims of stereotype.
Most trans people are well aware that the gender presentations they're conforming to are stereotypes, and indeed many would quite like to be butch transwomen or twink transmen, but find it very difficult to be accepted presenting that way. They are forced to conform to stereotypes by wider society, not by the ideas of trans people. That said, trans people often do choose and enjoy quite stereotypical presentations, and when they do, it's basically for the same reason that plenty of ardent cis feminists do: Just because you recognise the socialisation behind your preferences doesn't mean you can easily escape it.
> But the problem with being unable to discuss this
Trans spaces actively discuss a wide variety of gender identity experiences and possibilities, and encourage questioning people to explore their own experiences, and find the relationship with gender that feels right for them. The message is not "these are the things you're allowed to be" it's "do whatever makes you feel comfortable".
>may not see the other option: being yourself in your own body
Most trans people will have spent a long time uncertain and trying to "be themselves in their own body" before they decide to undertake any medical changes, and many trans people decide to change their bodies only partially or not at all. Very few people are comfortable undergoing extensive bodily changes on a whim. And when they do decide to make these changes, it is often driven by feelings of intense depression inducing discomfort with aspects of their bodies, not simply a desire to look how other people expect.
EDIT: new words were invented just to enforce it. Some of the "nicer" ones for women are tomboy and butch.