You're generalising and stereotyping in a way that suggests you're not very experienced, so perhaps we can put down the bizarre sweeping statements to inexperience.

I'm an experienced engineer and have hired many people. I specifically look for people who are better than me and I can learn from, even if I'm going to be their boss.

Why would I do that? I believe if you want to get better at something, hang out with people who are already better. I get better if I work with better people and, as it happens, my bosses/shareholders are happy with that too because they end up with a more talented workforce.

The trick then is making them want to come and work with me. If I'm super lucky, they have gaps that others in the team can help with, and that way they can still grow within the team.

It's no different to building a band: Paul, John, George and Ringo all knew the others were better at something than they were, and knew that was the secret to them all individually stepping up and beyond their previous abilities.

The fact you've worked in toxic environments with toxic people is something I am sorry to hear. I sincerely hope it gets better for you one day. However, please don't make your experiences a statement of fact about the state of technical management and leadership in general.