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Comment by bluetomcat | Hacker News Reader

I have never been formally diagnosed because autism is still not a thing in Eastern Europe, but the following self-assessment leads me to believe I am:

1. Constant fear of losing my belongings like keys, which leads me to check what's in my pocket every minute or two while I'm walking.

2. Overly obsessive about following a particular "ritual" for everyday stuff like washing my car or cleaning the house. Every small spot needs to be covered every time, even if it was previously clean. Otherwise I feel uneasy for completely irrational reasons.

3. Great confusion and anxiety when things in my job or everyday life cannot be done according to my carefully crafted plan.

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Your first two symptoms are literally the textbook definition of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_d...

Number 3 may be as well; I'm not that familiar with OCD.

OCD and ADD are often nice little extras for people on the spectrum, unfortunately.

I find it pretty common for people to tell me I'm not on the spectrum when I reveal it, as if in 5 minutes they have a better handle on me than I do. It's helped me understand just how annoying "mansplaining" can be (even when it's done by a woman.)

> I have never been formally diagnosed

That's important though... you can feel like you have something but actually have something pretty different. I understand that it must be pretty annoying for you if you are actually diagnosed but sadly, believing an internet diagnostic is too often a pretty bad decision.

it depends on the experience of the diagnostican then, and all they can work with is what you are willing and able to tell them, no?

What I don't understand is why it matters if people believe you or not. Could you provide some insight?

no OP here, but it matters. for example, in a relationship there's guaranteed to be problems, something observed with aspies is that they are less romantic once a set goal has been reached (sounds weird, I know). if your partner does not belief or accept you, then it turns into hell, at least for me. frustrations on both sides because expectations are not met, communication problems, that not-looking-into-eyes bug, all of that could be lessened with some understanding.

Hey, I'm not here to pass any judgement.

I recognise your symptoms as Obsessively Compulsive.

I'm one of those people who has to hide his symptoms from everyone all the time and disguise them as "oops I think I dropped my keys, I need to go in an out of this doorway 12 times whilst checking it". I waste at least an hour of my life in my OCD rituals, and I'm all too aware of how I come across, to other people as well.

Your love for quantum mechanics might just be that, your love for QM.

That sounds more like OCD. You don't observe anything like sensoric hypersensitivity? or looking at peoples lips, not the eyes, when they talk? or somewhat lack of empathy and emotions? or a strong sense for justice?

Apart from communicating with very close friends and relatives, social interaction can be quite difficult and exhausting, to the point where I self-analyse what I have previously said, and how weirdly people may have received it. Only alcohol makes me more "social" to strangers. Strong sense for justice, yes.

It's possible you're on the spectrum. I'd say whatever the case, some form of meditation/mindfulness might help with some of those issues. It helped me a lot.

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