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Maybe it's me, but this is really, really bad. Probably because I come from an IRC background.

I had assumed these request were proxified, but I didn't realise that would go against E2E. Now I'd like to see an option to disable these previews.

The way Apple iMessages does this is to have the user opt-in to each preview (it shows a grey box with a button to build a preview).

Not much different if users learn to always tap to generate the preview out of habit.

Yes, but you get the benefit of getting to see the domain before deciding whether you want to show a preview.

You’d think that someone with an IRC background would expect this, rather than be shocked by it.

I'm shocked that something this obvious has not been worked around.