On interstellar timescales, any civilization that fears we will develop interstellar offensive capabilities would need to also seriously consider the possibility that we would survive their first strike.
Why attempt to retaliate? This would be like waging war on Italy for atrocities committed in roman times wouldn't it? Even if you could guarantee success, you have no information about the moral culpability of the target, and would have to assume they have lifespans many multiples of humans to assume any such quality, wouldn't you?
Because retaliation shifts our foe's "risk of destruction if drone sent" vs "risk of destruction if drone not sent" tradeoff toward "don't attack".
I don't find this scenario remotely convincing. A good premise for a scifi novel though.