I'm (somewhat) sorry to pick on you for this, but this is something I've always found annoying/fascinating. I'm a fiction writer and a technical writer, and in both cases, I'm routinely advised that it's good to turn subject matter experts -- SMEs -- not only for things that I know I don't know, but for things that I think I know but might not have a complete understanding of. If we want to know what it's really like to be a fighter pilot, we should talk to fighter pilots, or at the very least read first-hand reports from them. We generally accept that this is true for nearly all fields of interest, not exclusively professions: if you want to learn about concentration camps or life in a cult, for instance, talk to or read first-hand reports from those who have.

Yet, somehow, when it's suggested that the SMEs on what it's like to be a woman software engineer would be women software engineers, or to be a woman founder in tech would be women founders in tech, suddenly "hey, I'm a man who's been in tech for a long time and I've never seen it" is good enough.

To me, it seems intuitively obvious that they may have insight into the challenges they face that you and I don't, and when we hear multiple women founders in tech talk about the sexism they faced that you and I by definition would not, we should consider the possibility that they know what they're talking about.

Crazy, I know.