One more thing that I'm not sure I understand.
Since I'll need an _acme-challenge.* PER-DOMAIN, doesn't this just move the goalpost to setting up the CNAME records (instead of TXT records directly), assuming my current registrar doesn't support wildcard CNAME entries?
If I'm understanding DNS 01 ACME challenges correctly, to register two subdomains first.one.example.com and second.one.example.com, I need to set up TWO TXT records, _acme-challenge.first.one.example.com and _acme-challenge.second.one.example.com. This means I need two CNAME records (or one if wildcards were enabled)...
I do thank you for your input, thinking about this has lead me to the possibility of just running my own nameserver all-together, I'm going to evaluate all these approaches and see how they pan out, and write a blog post to share.