Comment by gnulinux | Hacker News Reader

Comment by gnulinux | Hacker News Reader

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I'm incredibly absent minded. I constantly keep forgetting/losing my cards, my wallet, my phone, bags, random stuff; somehow I break things in ways I don't understand... I just graduated from college, my life was fine so far, but I'm currently getting kicked out by my landlord because he was sick of me making trivial, small mistakes 10000 times a day. They're things like forgetting a plate on the table, forgetting toothbrush in the sink, a towel on the dust cabinet, a shirt on the couch, my laptop on a desk etc... In fact, it's getting so bad if this persists a few more months I'll get an MRI because for all I know this might be a brain tumor. What's worse is I have absolutely no idea how to improve this since most of the time I can't remember the moment of incidence.

Today I realized I lost my debit card. I went to my bank account and it seems like I used it last 2 days ago, but it's not in my wallet now... I have absolutely no idea where it is. This is the 3rd time this is happening this year...

This is affecting my work too, but not significantly. Sometimes I push print statements with my code, can't even see them until people point them out (I do review my code before committing, `git diff`). One time I merged two branches that should never ever ever be merged and spent half a day trying to fix git. These are mostly minor things and afaik my manager is happy with my performance and I consider myself an ok software engineer. But still all these small mistakes are driving me crazy! I also worry it'll affect my career as an engineer.

I deal with this too. An example I'll never forget: leaving my sweater at a friend's house, realizing half way home (on a bike, freezing), biking all the way back to pick it up, then riding all the way home without my backpack (I took it off to put the sweater on). I miss train stops, forget important grocery items, leave my car at the carpool and think it's been stolen, etc.

I notice drinking makes it worse. So does cannabis. I have good months and bad months. It makes me feel like I'll never be worthy of a leadership role or any respectable level of responsibility. Major impostor syndrome when I'm working with people. Gives me anxiety when I give talks because I am afraid I am forgetting something and will act my usual foolish self in front of everyone.

I had an MRI for an unrelated issue and it came back normal. That helped a ton! Hypochondria and being hyper self-conscious is certainly a part of it. Last month I presented a concept for a webapp and a research project I did and won a small internal pitching contest. That helped a ton-- when I feel like I'm killing it and making strides, I don't feel like such an idiot, and stop noticing all the little mistakes I make.

> leaving my sweater at a friend's house, realizing half way home (on a bike, freezing), biking all the way back to pick it up, then riding all the way home without my backpack (I took it off to put the sweater on).

This hits so close to home... In my experience things like this were just "cute" little memories in high school and college so I never thought of it. I graduated this May and last 3 months I've seen that things like this ACTUALLY affect my life very badly. So I'm trying to improve this, and this thread has been very helpful and encouraged me to see a doctor.

Go see a neurologist.

If you think something is wrong medically, you should go see a doctor sooner than later. There's no reason you should wait.

This is a (less talked about, but very diagnostic) symptom of ADHD.

See, yes my friends told me I might have ADHD. But I was extremely good at school (I graduated from UC Berkeley with near 4.0) and never had a problem focusing at work/school. If I sit to study, I can do so pretty efficiently. I can also do work without much trouble. Also, I tried Adderall a couple times when I was a freshman, and its effects were almost unnoticeable to me since I usually don't have hard time focusing anyway.

I might have ADHD, but it just doesn't make any sense to me...

ADHD is largely misunderstood, and what you're describing could definitely be a symptom. I've struggled with 'out of sight out of mind' my entire life, so your post hit close to home. For me, a post by Mark Suster[1] resonated so deeply that I finally saw a professional, and I was diagnosed with ADHD at 29.

Since then, I've learned a ton about how my brain's executive function works and have developed many strategies to overcome my own challenges. It'll be a work in progress for the rest of my life, but knowing what it is I'm working on as made a huge difference.

As far as medication: it's completely personal (dosage isn't even tied to weight), so try to set aside any prior experiences you've had outside of working with a medical doctor. Academic and professional performance also aren't part of the diagnostic criteria (I graduated near 4.0, too).

Even if you don't have ADHD, meeting with a doctor will help you rule it out. My $.02, hope this helps.

[1] https://bothsidesofthetable.com/how-to-know-if-you-have-add-... (Special thanks to Mark for being so open about ADHD!)

ADHD doesn't always (or even often) manifest as inability to focus; that's a misconception. As well, ADHD can have little-to-no impact on your grades in school, if you happen to "have a mind for" the particular things you're studying. It's when you don't that it can be a problem.

Also:

> its effects were almost unnoticeable to me

Neurotypical people don't tend to experience Adderall as "unnoticeable." If your brain chemistry starts off in the reference range (for neurostriatal dopamine reuptake latency period), a dose of Adderall would take you out of the reference range, such that you start exhibiting signs and symptoms of mania, experiencing things such as an elevated heart rate and increased sweating. If a dose of Adderall puts you into the reference range, then you were likely outside of the range to begin with. (Note: if you consume a lot of caffeine, your baseline state would be "you having not had caffeine for a week." If you don't even remember what that's like... well, that's diagnostic for ADHD, too.)

Anyway, give this adult ADHD self-diagnosis questionnaire a read-through: https://add.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/adhd-questionnair...

Other possibilities:

1. Despite being considered a different disease, narcolepsy is effectively treated by the same drugs that treat ADHD. Narcolepsy can cause the same symptoms you're talking about (which, again, if you think narcolepsy involves fully falling asleep, that's a misconception.)

2. Alternatively, you might have any of a number of conditions that affect sleep quality, such as obstructive sleep apnea, chronic fatigue syndrome, or even a simple nutrient deficiency. A regular doctor (who would in turn likely refer you to a sleep clinic) could help to figure this out.

3. Of course, it might be early-onset Alzheimer's... but that's actually much less likely than one of the above options.

Huh, that's very interesting, all those things in Part A happen to me often (pretty much every day!) except being overly active (I'm very silent and calm). I guess I had misconceptions about what ADHD even is... I should see a doctor soon it seems like. Thank you very much!

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