This would be a reasonable defense of PHP if it didn't genuinely lack any sort of intelligent design. More sophisticated programmers hate PHP because it was thrown together like a Mad Max car.

PHP is popular in the same way Miller Lite is popular: it's convenient, cheap to run (on shared hosting) and adequate. However, if you're used to something finer, Miller Lite simply will not do, and people who think it's fine are not going to understand.

Just like with everything else...