"Jim, it appears you have been yelling at your child. We have contacted child services, submitted for a warrant to enter your home automatically to allow lawful entry into your home to remove your child for further investigation."
"Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr."
Or because you're just parroting pop culture? If so, stop and try being more thoughtful instead.
Child services folks have an incredibly difficult, often thankless and woefully under-funded mission. Everybody loves to joke about them... until they need that sort of help.