I think this translation did a great job in conveying of the emotion/expression of the original text.

One thing that particularly gets me, while could be thought as somewhat lost in translation, is the expression of "掉在地上(fall on the ground)". It is rare to be used when the subject is a human, but rather when the subject is an object.

I think the background story is needed in order to fully understand a poem like this, or maybe any poem. From that perspective, minor loss in translation doesn't hurt. Folks above may spend too much in translation, nitpicking a single word, maybe useful as academic, but reading the story which is ended with such a sorrowful poem already breaks people's heart, how accurate the translation is doesn't matter any more.

I couldn't imagine such a miserable situation with desperate pressures that can drive people to commit to suicide. Xu in this story left with news report, poem and comments on HN, but many others left with nothing and forgotten by the world easily: feel so sad that a life is so meaningless when it becomes a number: see [1], [2].

[1]: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/jun/18/foxconn-l... [2]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foxconn_suicides