I've recently been to a psychologist, so yeah, about the suicidal part.

I understand what you mean, but it's just so hard for me to keep up with other people. I am just awkward and I do not know how to interact with them. I literally have a relationship maintenance problem, in a way :D

>In the end,I think you'll do fine in general. I don't know if STEM or compsci is for you based on what you mentioned but my advice is to at least persistently pursue your dreams. I would also highly recommend investing in relationships with people(personal,academic and professional) life is too hard on your own.

Indeed. Thanks a lot for replying and for the encouraging message:)