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>My family is 7000+ miles away. I talk to them about once every 3-8 months. The biggest issue is the time difference. Those times when I think "I feel like calling" it's always the wrong time

It's not actually natural for humans to choose to experience social interaction every time it happens (historically, we didn't). It can help if you pick a time in advance and then call no matter what. It will almost always be easier than you thought after you start talking.

Stupidly I don't know how

If you like, we can become email friends, just to keep in touch. I may or may be able to relate to you, but I promise to try sincerely. I see myself going the same route, so...

On a meta level:

Do you have any ideas on how to think about situations like this? Surely, there must be millions of people who feel the same?

I actually don't have any ideas but I do think there are at least 2 opportunities.

1. A better meetup.com

I have no idea if there is a way to make a better one so maybe there is no solution. What I find though is few meetups are actually that good. I have no idea how to make them better. Sponsor them? Hire organizers?

I know this is a hard problem. For example there was that "dinewithus.com" service and I guess the biggest issue is odds are low that the people you end up dinning with are actually people you want to be around.

2. A better dating service

I see 2 problems with dating services today. (a) too many women get scared away from too many DTF messages which reduces the pool greatly (b) too many people not trying hard enough or not putting in the effort or unsure how to get the fire started. Examples are profiles with no info. Profiles with no pictures. Profiles with generic info "I like dining and travel". When matching bad messages "Hi!" etc..

I think there are creative ideas that might help with both a and b issues. It might be impossible but I think it would be interesting to try.

Hmmm. With dating services, there is a higher level of expectation than just a site for friends. I kinda wish there is a way to just meet people and talk - no other high expectations to begin with at least. After all, the first step in dating is becoming a friend, isn't it?

Bumble Friends/BFF is that.

What about group dating? 6-10 people having food drinks, discussions, playing games? No awkwardness associated with 1-1 dating, no need to commit or reject. No need to write up a profile or anything- just go and see how it goes, see if you make any connections with someone.

Re 1, Hire organizers who have provable matchmaking skills at scale.

Place yourself in situations that are necessarily social, but with a focus that is not on socializing: a sports team, a running group, a volunteer activity.

It's super common for women in your age range to be somewhat lonely (although usually they have kids, but they will be grown kids who are off feeling invincible). Do you date at all? Even if it doesn't work out with some it could be a way to meet potential friends?

You're more than welcome to email me to chat. I too live abroad and have for several years. I absolutely get what you mean.

My email is my username at gmail.