> We both love our work so quitting isn't exactly helpful.

This sticks out to me, as it seems to be a false dilemma. Maybe you can work it out without either quitting, but having one of you quit is a real solution that you shouldn't throw out the window. After all, I'm sure you both love each other more than your work. Big life changes can be hard. (We got rid of our home internet, despite the fact that my whole employment relies on the internet.) But they're doable and shouldn't be dismissed so quickly.