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Comment by cb33 | Hacker News Reader

As someone who used to be somewhat of a bully, I think this is the best advice. Bullies pick on smaller kids because they're insecure about themselves and bullying a smaller kid is... well, easy. If a smaller kid makes it difficult for bullies to pick on them (by fighting back), the bully will most likely stop (and move on to another victim).

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You make a good point (and it takes guts to admit being a bully): the anti-bullying strategy is to make the bully pick a different target.

You don't have to be "un-bullyable", you just have to be less bullyable than the next guy.

However, I still believe it's possible to fight back in a non-physical manner. My experience has always been that wit is sharper than fists, so I plan to teach my kids to fight back with language, not punches.

Believe me, that will make most bullies even more angry. They'll feel more insecure because now they're inferior to the "shrimp" in a way. It's just adding fuel to the fire.

It worked for me growing up.

I attended 8 schools between ages 12 and 18 (yes, more than one per year) and was bullied throughout.

And that's why comparing parenting strategies is almost never fruitful -- nearly every decision a parent makes is deeply personal, made with very few data points.

( By the way, if any parents here have NOT read Nurture Shock, buy it right now. Pretty much the only data-driven book on parenting there is. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0446504122 )

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