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You make a good point (and it takes guts to admit being a bully): the anti-bullying strategy is to make the bully pick a different target.

You don't have to be "un-bullyable", you just have to be less bullyable than the next guy.

However, I still believe it's possible to fight back in a non-physical manner. My experience has always been that wit is sharper than fists, so I plan to teach my kids to fight back with language, not punches.

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Believe me, that will make most bullies even more angry. They'll feel more insecure because now they're inferior to the "shrimp" in a way. It's just adding fuel to the fire.

It worked for me growing up.

I attended 8 schools between ages 12 and 18 (yes, more than one per year) and was bullied throughout.

And that's why comparing parenting strategies is almost never fruitful -- nearly every decision a parent makes is deeply personal, made with very few data points.

( By the way, if any parents here have NOT read Nurture Shock, buy it right now. Pretty much the only data-driven book on parenting there is. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0446504122 )

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