The problem with DP/DR is that the loss of control/feeling of unrealness is not pleasant. It's the opposite. Your ego is not completely lost, it's still very much present. But it feels really threatened. You feel like you are on the edge most of the time. You feel like you might go insane or die any minute (when the intensity gets high).

After years of getting my grounding, I feel like I can manage these feelings. I don't have them that often. But it takes practice, and you have to surrender when the feelings are overwhelming.

For functioning in this world, you do need a sense of self. But it also helps when that self realizes that it is part of a whole. Without a self, I don't think you can operate in this reality, so there's no point trying to get rid of it.