Oh, they can tell you're weird. In a way where you take the bad things in life, and convince yourself they're good. Likely because growing up you were a little weird, so to hide it you made weird your thing and became a lot weird.

Here are some things you can't do, which I am sure you have replaced with other things, and convinced yourself you don't want to do them:

1. doing laundry while you're sleeping or your baby is sleeping. I like to load a basket into the washer, take a shower and brush my teeth, then move it to the dryer and go to sleep. Fresh socks in the morning.

2. cooking curry dishes and not having your whole house soak up the smell

3. watching porn while the wife is home. let's face it - if you got a newborn, she's not super-sexy right now.

4. have friends over, let them vape inside, have them sit not on your bed

5. have only one person lose sleep when the baby is crying at night.

6. take a nice long hot bath

7. work out at home. I mean a real one with weights and an elliptical - not push-ups

8. I could go on, but there's clearly no point, since you know all these things.