In the same conversation, he said "You're friends with <coworker> outside of work, right? Look, don't tell him this, but we can get 10 of him, we can't find many of you" then still gave me a 2.5% raise. I literally don't get what sort of person you have to be to confirm that someone's my friend, then proceed to shit on them in a professional setting. Head of the department (his direct boss) was sitting there too. The co-worker in question has basically been single-handedly tackling security and busts his ass, but luckily his supervisor isn't terrible and goes to bat so he at least got the raise he deserved (he's still looking for other jobs too, don't worry).

Been looking (not as hard as I should be) for a new job since that review, unfortunately being stubborn about staying in central New Jersey isn't doing me any favors. Just trying to maintain my sanity in the meantime while I look around :/