That wouldn't be funny. This article is funny because of the hyperbole of the usual criticisms (e.g. too academic). I think you have taken the post a bit too literally:
> "We crafted a fake satirical post lampooning Haskell as an unusable, overly complex turd -- a writing task that was emotionally difficult but conceptually trivial. Then we laced the post with deeper social subtext decrying the endemic superficiality and laziness of global industry programming culture, to make ourselves feel better. Finally, each of us upvoted the post, which was unexpectedly contentious because nobody could agree on what the reddit [OR hacker news] voting arrows actually mean."
His post is this fake satirical post, it's actually about "the endemic superficiality and laziness of global industry programming culture". So if you look a bit closer, you see he's making exactly your point: these criticisms are superficial.