Comment by WhompingWindows | Hacker News Reader

Comment by WhompingWindows | Hacker News Reader

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WhompingWindows

I loved the 20 person simulation the author used. His point about universal suffering reminds me of another point by Sam Harris:

"Everyone you know is practically drowning in suffering"

SH brings up this point to contextualize our own suffering. It's hard for us to socialize with others and make connections, but if we consider other peoples' plights and struggles, it gives us more perspective and may aid us to talk, converse, and collaborate with them.

I tried to apply this in driving. If I am honked at, I usually feel it's not justified and it slightly harms my mood. Therefore, when I see other drivers doing something unsafe or unskillful, I try to spare the horn and simply slow down myself. This is likely another suffering, late person with back pain, bills weighing on them, possibly phone addiction or something urgent going on, and the least I can do is slow down and give them space.

Looking around us and appreciating the suffering of others is a very useful exercise.

Driving, for me, is a massive exercise in being mindful. My goal, however, is not to mind the suffering of others but instead, to take those inputs, not associate with them, and let them go.

For instance, some driver doesn't want to get in the queue at the back, so they drive up and cut over in front of me or a car or two up. There are a lot of thoughts on that that could go through your mind. These range from "no fair" to "jerk" to other things.

But, I've come to realize the best way to deal with that is to detach. You can either not let the person in and then go down that range of thoughts/emotions (primarily negative) or just let them in and not dwell on it. Observe it (assuming it's not jeopardizing anyone's safety) and let it go.

This is a very simple exercise, but it has the potential to be carried on to larger experiences in life. I'm not here to judge if you don't think it is, I just know what makes sense to me. And this is not something I have come up with on my own. This and similar techniques have been highlighted in quite a few books I've read, people I've listened to at various events.

This for me is a much deeper discussion and I think completely personal to the experiencer. I tend to fall on the side of being mindful of yourself and the struggles/suffering of existence are of your own doing and choices (obviously, this is a simplistic statement, but to me true on a high level).

I've been listening/watching quite a bit of Naval Ravikant podcasts/videos. I think he has a lot of good wisdom to digest and he definitely covers this subject. I highly recommend anything of his you come across. https://nav.al

Oh yeah, I’m all about being a detached driver. I don’t even look into their window to see the driver. I just leave it at “red SUV” and don’t allow myself to develop a picture of the driver.

I do the same! If someone gets angry with me I (try to) feel compassionate - they must be late for a job interview, their partner yelled at them at breakfast etc. It completely changes my perspective - the worst thing that happened to me that morning is someone cut me off.

I've taken this further and I try to harvest waves in my commute. I consciously let people merge, etc and I'm always glad if I get a wave. I aim to get one on every trip. I hand them out too.

Its increased my mental wellbeing by the time I get to work.

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