Am I ok? Kind of. Not really. As a non-throwaway I'll refrain from elaborating. I think a key for me is sleeping well and relieving stress in healthy ways. These healthy stress relievers include exercise and mediation, but I do not engage in them nearly often enough. Writing here is a good reminder to do both.

More of a challenge as I grow older is finding those I feel I can speak with openly about anything. These days that's limited to professionals only, and if a therapy session or two get cancelled then I can become quite derailed.

For anyone out there struggling with what others think of you, something that gets me though the day is Derek Sivers's quote: "Be your unapologetically weird self." Don't get inappropriate in the workplace but remember that you bring something unique to the table (and that's probably why you were hired in the first place).

Quote in full:

“I gave a commencement speech in Minnesota few years ago [at the Carlson School of Management]. The core of it was to be your unapologetically weird self. I think authenticity is one of the most lacking things out there these days.” An excerpt from that speech: “Weirdness is why we adore our friends. . . . Weirdness is what bonds us to our colleagues. Weirdness is what sets us apart, gets us hired. Be your unapologetically weird self. In fact, being weird may even find you the ultimate happiness.” - Derek Sivers via Tools of Titans