I appreciate the advice. I may not have been clear in my rant but I am not in legal debt presently. If it were medical debt from a recoverable position and with support it would be a different story. I have skirted it by paying up front from savings or not seeking/getting care if it cost too much (a decision many have to make here) as I know in my condition and situation I would never recover once that happens. I will end things before that if faced with it. But conditions keep worsening making me fear that outcome. I was denied any governmental assistance even with lawyers and years of effort and my partial medical retirement pension has no medical insurance or benefits and isn't even enough for all needs itself, let alone extreme medical costs. I have been living with hyper-conservative family who have made things quite difficult for me, blaming me because my situation flies in the face of their beliefs, and that is coming to and end soon as I am blamed for their pre-existing 4th marriage issues being a convenient target.

Basically once you are removed from the ability to control and maintain independent life, to the normal degree most can, and there is no support network or safety net to rely on, you are faced with hits from every side which amplify each other and no matter how hard you try and what you do the exponential weight is crushing. There just wasn't enough help from family or systems when it would have enabled me to recover, and now I will never recover and there is even less help, meaning none, to survive when you are dependent. Likely since I have to move, I will just pack up and go abroad by end of year with whats left, rent a tiny flat for as long as I can, and hope a miracle takes place somehow before I am forced to flip the switch off. I don't have the funds, health, or support to survive anywhere legally or continuously alone...but I refuse for my last breaths to be here. Sorry for the anger...cathartic dumping as I have no real ear to bend regularly. It's been a rough few decades ;)