While I appreciate you as an individual, the above has objectively been proven false. Throughout this entire thing from the first surgery that took me out, no system or person here who was in a position to stop the "bleeding" and help me rebuild, or provide true safety to live, would do it. There were many people, programs, and moments where it could have turned around and they refused. Nobody here did what the promised, what they should, what was right. It was a series of blame and selfish rewriting of history and THAT is what really depressed me. Only one kind stranger from abroad offered a truly potentially workable situation a while back and my health prevented that from happening at the worst time. So the reality is whether I am here or not in a day, month, or year doesn't matter and won't matter. The ability to assure I would be has been actively denied repeatedly. Proof is in the pudding. I'd joyfully grab any realistic plan and take my cat and live a life...but there isn't one. Nobody chooses this...its forced upon them.