I hear you. I was denied all SSDI etc after years of fighting. Credits expired entirely now. I am "too poor" for a subsidized ACA plan. If I was a little MORE poor I could get one but you know how it is balancing things as one change cuts you off of another needed thing. You cannot win.

I've been trying to get out (back out) for a long time. It always went under because of the my health getting worse and family bailing from any support as a result, so I couldn't maintain residency another way. If everything that's happened to me had happened in a country with social systems, which likely wouldn't have since the surgeries that disabled me were profit driven and unneeded, I would at least have a chance to live. I want to live. I am not some emo woe-is-me case. There is just nothing but closed doors in front of me and the place I am now in is closing to me as well. The ONE time in all these years one DID open thanks to someone kind, more went wrong with health and family and I couldn't get through it before it shut. Your life shouldn't depend on one lucky chance from a stranger.