Managing a DB + middle layer for a small and an already stressed DB team? Can't imagine that going well. The problem was that they spent too much time doing reviews for simple SQL patterns for CRUD + operational issues like debugging database performance issues or watching devs perform migrations. Of course they have other things to do in their job.
My opinion was the root of the problem is database choice and practices. If all I want to do is simple CRUD, then give me good scaled Redis cluster (AOF enabled), dynamo or something that constrains the query model. DB team can worry about about the cluster management leaving me to worry about structure. I could consult DB team if I needed opinions for multiple cases. Give me a way to watch db performance as well, so DB team does not need to watch over a migration at 12am or some off period.
Sometimes I may need higher performance or more dynamic queries, so just creating a table or elastic search with only indexable values to get the ids works. Use those IDs to fetch from original store.