>...so we kind of feel like we are contributing to a future problem by using dental insurance, but it’s hard to turn down the savings now.
I agree. It feels awful to make a rational choice in your best interest and to see the mess it can cause at scale. The reason health insurance is such a mess in the US was from a tit-for-tat battle of people operating in a rational way (providers, insurance companies, and drug companies).
Insurance companies have pre-negotiated rates for everything. I didn't like paying for my dental insurance, and asked my dentist what the cost would be for 2 cleanings/year with no insurance. Something like $120/cleaning and another $75 for x-rays periodically. No cash discount because they'd run into legal issues by offering a better rate for non-insured patients.
My insurance is around $10/month. Since I get my teeth cleaned 2x/year, the rational choice is to buy my insurance and realize I breakeven after the first cleaning. But it feels bad. If my dentist is getting $40/cleaning through insurance, I'd rather be able to pay him $45/cleaning and keep insurance out of it all.