"U.S. job openings post biggest drop in more than four years"
becomes
<economic statistic that is rarely cited and no one has cared about before> post biggest drop in more than <arbitrary time frame>"
becomes
<economic statistic taht is rarely cited and no one has cared about before> post <scary descriptor> in more than <arbitrary time frame>"
becomes
"<holy shit live in fear the sky is falling and you should panic>"