this ongoing battle is annoying. I just need my iphone to be a hotspot and I need a better notification system. Then i'll be happy.
Not to sound trollish, but have you looked at Android's notification system? It's absolutely wonderful, and I really don't think I'd change a thing about it. If you aren't too tied to iOS and are willing to switch, I'd say it's worth a look.
I had an iPhone for a year and now have used a Palm Pre for a year. I just bought my son an iPod Touch and yuck!! The celebrated UI of iOS is quite a turn off compared to webOS in my opinion.