Your child is not a human-to-be, that's a trap I fell into. They are a human now, your son or daughter. We might think we're educating, nurturing them, growing them so they become good adults -- but it's the journey as much as the destination. Children deserve fulfillment in their lives too, not just a hope of future fulfillment. For a baby that means warm cuddles, soft voices, smiles, the care of those that love them -- despite their infirmity and dependency.

I think you're both missing out substantially if you think you can just jump in later after all the messy, hard, stuff is over.