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It sounds a lot like we're talking about different things. The Italian guy before is talking about a real bidet, a serious plumbing fixture much like a toilet. You and others seem to be thinking of some cheap, plastic add-on. Personally, I was thinking of either the European-style bidet, or the Japanese-style washlet, neither of which is cheap.

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and requires you to, like, add physical real estate to your bathroom.

The European-style bidet does require extra real estate in your bathroom. The Japanese-style washlet does not; it's built into the toilet (or replaces the regular lid).

Honestly, I have no idea why Europeans still use their old-fashioned bidets now that washlets have been around for several decades. Why would you want to use two different devices just to do a #2 when you can just sit on one and get it all done at once?

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