Re: point 2. I'm not necessarily advocating it, but one advantage of doing work outside of SQL is testability. Esp. unit tests. It's still relatively difficult to test SQL, for a variety of reason. I'm working with dbt now, which offers some simple validation out of the box (verify such and such is non-null, for example). More complex tests, such as "verify that some rows/columns have some expected values," require writing a query (returning 0 rows on success, 1 or more on failure.) It works, but still rather clumsy because a) requires an actual database (ie, not really unit testing) and b) writing tests this way is pretty tedious and error prone compared to using a typical assertion framework a la python's unittest.

I totally agree the options are all somewhat unpleasant. I've found dbt to be a nice step in the right direction.