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Comment by kitotik | Hacker News Reader

As a self-proclaimed weirdo and staunch individualist, small towns can be very difficult to just mind your own business in. Literally everything you do or don’t do tends to get noticed and talked about amongst the residents.

There’s something to be said for the anonymity of large urban center.

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Absolutely. I grew up in a tiny town, and loved the ability to get way out in the middle of nowhere with no humans around. And hated practically everything else about it.

Small towns make your business everyone's. There's a desperation for gossip that's just gross to me, and worse, if you don't play along, you're an outcast. Which worked fine for me, except it makes you a target for local shitheads.

I get why others might like it if they're social extroverts who fit whatever local majority-normal is, if not, a city is a far better place to live.

Another data point. If you have difficulty with people talking about you, definitely don't move to a small town in a foreign country where you are a visible minority. I've yet to experience real negative discrimination amongst my neighbours, but boy are they interested in me! I'm kind of strange in that I like being the center of attention, but don't like spending energy to achieve that position, so it's kind of ideal for me. However, I've know people for whom it is haunting (Yes, they really do notice everything you do). If you need to buy things that are... um... delicate... best to go to another town -- and even then you aren't always safe ;-) When I first moved here, I was one of 2 visible minorities and I also taught at the high school, so everybody knew who I was. It's like being a celebrity without the money.

I agree with this. I have though about it extensively, as an introvert who hates large cities, and I think (at least for me) a city between 500k and 1 million inhabitants spread out over a sizeable area is ideal. It has some of the benefits of a large city and some of the benefits of a small town, and I think it strikes a good balance between being anonymous in a crowd while having enough space for myself to live comfortably. Such a city would also have the population to find enough people with similar interests/hobbies to have clubs and meetups.

No one can talk about you if they can't see you though.

I hope to own 5 wooded acres, so I don't even have to see anyone.

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